In the United States, Labor Day is celebrated to commemorate the many hours of excruciating pain each mother endured to bring us into this world. Celebrated on the first Monday of September (so each of us has a full 72 hours to reflect upon the agony of childbirth) this national holiday has been adopted by all 50 States. Labor day is traditionally celebrated with gift-giving. Cards and flowers are often enough to placate an exploited Mom, while those who possess more than a flickering ember of humanity often opt for something that more accurately reflects their profound thankfulness to the one who gave them life.
Man’s best friend edges girl’s best friend in the categories of cost, companionship, and home security, but Diamonds will never chew shoes or pee on your carpet. Both are fetching.
First, determine the metal (and other material) type in your men’s ring, as many materials have different durability levels and may require special care and/or cleaning solutions.
To determine the metal and/or stone type in your men’s ring, repeatedly punch the car belonging to your neighbor who, after multiple warnings, still allows his dog to poop in your yard. Sterling Silver will scratch the most, followed by Platinum, high carat gold rings (18-22k), natural gold nugget rings, 14k rings, Titanium, and finally tungsten men’s rings.
NOTE: Diamonds will scratch windshield glass.
TIP: Write down the GPS coordinates showing where your neighbor can locate his spare tire.
Once you’ve determined the material used to build your men’s ring you can proceed to step 2:
Lather yourself in bacon grease and go for a wilderness hike, pausing frequently to wail like a wounded animal. When attacked by a large predator, subdue it and use your hands to remove its hide, claws, and teeth. Rub men’s ring vigorously on hide to remove scratches.
NOTE: Raw salmon may be used as a substitute for bacon grease-it’s kosher.
TIP: Use the claws and teeth to make a necklace for your wife.
Finally, to remove dirt, residue, and blood from your men’s ring, submerge for 1/2 hour in a solution made of equal parts hydrochloric acid and testosterone. For tougher stains, dip briefly into molten lava. Air dry.
NOTE: If you have little girl hands, remove ring before cleaning.
TIP: Dirt and residue don’t hurt you.
Repeat previous steps as necessary until your current ring is ruined, then buy a real men’s ring from alaskajewelry.com and stop worrying about it.
You’re welcome.
The long awaited decision has finally arrived: Brett Favre will return for a record 4th time the large diamond earrings purchased online. In a brief statement read before reporters, Favre reiterated that it was never about the money, but rather his inability to recover from the scintillating flashes of light from the diamonds each time Deanna turned her head. He praised the online jewelry vendor for its liberal risk-free returns policy and their patience with him through the long process, while not ruling out the possibility of a future return should he change his mind again.
You’re welcome you old gunslinger, you’re welcome.
No, this didn’t actually happen.
Yet.
Do you want real Alexandrite?
YOU CAN”T HANDLE REAL ALEXANDRITE!
Ok maybe you can, but expect to pay for quality. And, contrary to to some disinformation widely circulated on the net, not all natural Alexandrite needs to be certified to be a safe buy. In fact, almost without exception, in the lower price points, you’ll get a better deal on uncertified goods. Why? Because stones generally get certified by a wholesaler before they are sold to the retailer, meaning that most certified stones have the certificate cost marked up TWICE. On a smaller stone, this means a huge increase in cost for a negligible increase in value.
So, how do you avoid the shysters selling lab grown, treated amethyst, or treated corundum (etc, etc) as natural Alex? Buy from a reputable source for natural Alexandrite. There’s no substitute for using a proven dealer who has an untarnished reputation in Natural Alexandrite sales after over two decades.
I get calls from guys pretty regularly who want a 1 carat high quality certified natural Alexandrite for $2000. Guess what? They don’t exist. You can get a decent quality small Natural for that, with medium clarity, and medium color change, without a certificate. Need a certificate? How do you feel about tacking on 20% plus to the price for something that will add NOTHING to the visual quality of the stone?
Natural Alexandrite is one of the rarest gemstones in the world. Due to it’s scarcity, quality specimens demand high prices. The three major sources for the stone (natural chrysoberyl) are Brazil, India, and Russia. The original source is Russia, and natural Russian Alexandrite is the rarest of the three due to the fact that the original mine has not been in commercial production since the early 1900′s.
As a result of its scarcity, Natural Alexandrite of Russian origin demands a premium over stones from any other source. In fact, I’ve spoken with a number of commercial Alexandrite dealers who have expressed surprise that we have been able to acquire even a few Russian Alexandrite, as most stones in circulation are ones that were originally mined over a century ago.
Origin aside, natural Alexandrite comes in a huge range of qualities, which is why you can find some natural stones for hundreds of dollars, instead of hundreds of thousands (or millions). A natural Alexandrite of low quality from Brazil or India could easily cost less than $1000 per carat, but a natural stone with good color, clarity, and color change will almost always be $4000+ per carat. Keep in mind that this stone has been on the market for over 150 years, with imitations actively made and distributed since 1973. It’s safe to assume that any stone that seems to good to be true-is.